Most 9 Things Every Woman Does When Her Man Isn’t Around

1. Re-reads every single one of your texts together. Aww, I totally forgot when he asked me to go to the concert with him and then I said yes and then we had the best time and then the next day he told me he had the best time and then we started joking about how that jar of salsa looked like our friend Jeremy. God, we’re hilarious. This also leads me to…

2. Goes through your texts and screencaps them so she can remember the really cute stuff you said without having to scroll through five months of sweet messages and also boring weird stuff that seemed interesting at the time but is basically a snooze-fest compared to all of the moments when he said he missed me.

3. Replays the moment when you two first met in a ridiculous amount of detail. Did I fall for him right when I saw him? Wait, do I even remember when I first saw him? Or do I just remember how I felt over the course of the night? Whatever, it was still so dreamy and seems like only yesterday. This is almost getting too cheesy but I do not caaaare.

4. Makes a secret Pinterest wedding board just in case.​ ​Am I ready to get married this year? Probably not. Do I want to use the fact that I’m super into this guy to go totally nuts on Pinterest and choose my fantasy wedding dress and the appropriate flowers for the tables and the cookware I plan to request on our wedding registry? Yes. Don’t hate.

5. Looks through his cute Facebook pictures of his cute face. Oh my god, how cute was he in 2007?! The most cute. And in 2009? Somehow even cuter! Let’s check out 2010. Oh, cool, there’s video. Man, this is a great use of two hours.


6. Think about ways he might propose to you. Maybe he’d pick the little restaurant we went to with the paper lanterns that we both agreed was the most magical place we’ve ever been or maybe he’d do it in the park right after work when you’re least expecting it. Not that we’re there yet, no no no. But, just…in the future.

7. Look at your friends’ engagement ring photos and think about what kind of ring you’d want. (And whether he’d get it right.) Ugh, I would never want a ring that looks like Abby’s. John wouldn’t get me a ring like that though. He knows it’s not my style. Wait, he does know that’s not my style right? Oh god, what if he doesn’t even know what my style is?!

8. Think about what your first dance would be at your wedding and if you would feel totally awkward the whole time it’s happening. Should it be cheesy and powered by a One Direction song or slow and romantic and powered by a Drake song? Plus, then there’s the fact that John and I have never even danced together period so would we take lessons? Man, I’m glad we’re not engaged yet. We clearly still have so much to do.

9. Playing “If only we met sooner” scenarios in your head and imagining how everything would have been different if you had. Aww, what would it have been like if John and I had met as little kids? Would we have gotten along and been best friends? Would I have dated him first and then never have had to date the 9 million (exact number) of totally bizarre nightmare creatures I had to date before finding him? I guess there’s no way of knowing, but at least I won’t have to date any nightmare creatures ever again. Man, he’s so great. I’m going to go read our old texts again until he comes over.